I'm writing out of pure will which is not easy, but, at least I'm writing and I'm at peace with that. The topic that resides in the for front of my mind is weakness. These past few days I feel open and vulnerable, like my nerves are live wires bristling with electrical charge.

I feel open and exposed finding myself bouncing between drawing completely inward and cloistering my self off, (protection) and talking way too much about anything and everything to keep myself open to the world. The bottom line is, I'm dealing with
change and uncertainty: a possible job change, a possible move and issues within my household that are at times more than I can handle or want to handle.

I love my family dearly, but there are times when I have no more strength or adequate explanations for my distance, there is a part of me deep inside that wants protection, even from those closest to me. It's strange to talk like this being that I'm usually the strong one for everybody else, now I feel spent, like I need a season soaking up spiritual sunlight in some far away Atlantis. Have a beautiful weekend friends and stay positive.

I was pretending to be floating strong
But I was sinking
In to still water

Eyes closed
All of the rest will flow

Then out of darkness I found I could still feel
Something good
Out of the woods

Eyes closed
All of the rest will flow

One simple thing that I never could see
But now I know
All of the rest will flow

Stay with me my angel I found you
Now I don't feel low
All of the rest will flow

Eyes closed
All of the rest will flow

-Steven Wilson

When my heart turns cold and I chased the old
Standard lie, forgive me.
When my conscious calls me to leave it behind,
Well did I, forgive me.

As of lately I've had a difficult time writing, my mind has been blocked and I've been gazing at a blank canvas waiting for the energy and creativity to return. Yet I still find my self in this spot of uncertainty. I have always said from the beginning of this blog that I would not only share my strengths, but my weaknesses as well. I have no super powers, I'm simply and ordinary person battling the ebb-n-flow of this crazy life we all live and I'm just as influenced as the next guy by my environment and my relationships.

Some Deep introspection has revealed pockets of anger and resentment that has worked it's way into my interior person and set up camp. Lately, I have been easily offended, had trust broken on one or two recent occasions (which is the hardest for me) and lost sleep over the changing economy and the need to protect myself and my family, which tends to dredge up the old "fight or flight" mentality obscuring evolutions greatest gifts such as mercy, compassion, patience, caring, long suffering, I'm sure you get my point.

The lyrics above and below so eloquently speak what I cannot right now, in them you will see and hear what I cannot express in my own words presently. But those of you who are closest to me know that I am not one to back down or stop, I am not a quitter, I will find my healing and wholeness even if it takes me through the fire and refines me like pure gold. I will find healing and continue my evolution toward wisdom and the greater gifts of light. Peace my friends, I love you all.



Find me in these fields alone,
Crusted with the salt of my ways,
Rinse me with the motion of sweet water,
The silky rush of Your cleansing stream.

I turn my face towards the sun
Too feel the heat and cool wind blow.
Reminding me as I touch your shoulder
Awakening me from some selfish dream.

I face the fog in the Autumn,
The midnight moon weaving her chain.
You trace me deep in this valley
Repeating a familiar refrain, forgive me.

When my heart turns cold and I chased the old
Standard lie, forgive me.
When my conscious calls me to leave it behind,
Well did I, forgive me.

Take me in I'll sit at Your feet,
Live to tell all You have done,
Could I find a rose in mid-December,
A sign of peace for those passing by.

I turn my eyes toward the Son,
And a vision of a world yet to be,
When hope will be awarded living substance
And Heaven kisses Earth in reply.

I face the fog in the Autumn,
The midnight moon weaving her chain.
You trace me deep in this valley
Repeating a familiar refrain, forgive me.

When my heart turns cold and I chased the old
Standard lie, forgive me.
When my conscious calls me to leave it behind,
Well did I, forgive me.

-Phil Keaggy

A crack of golden light bewteen the blades of green and brown,

stillness descends, hue shifts to orange, deeper still,

To live in this place perpetually and not lose a single moment

hatred would be no more,

The blades shift between silence, and gentle sound, an evening breeze

moves around body and soul...

I have been away from my blog for awhile and I know some of you have been wonderning where I've gone. I simply needed some time away to introspect on various aspects of my life at this time and re-focus to get some clarity and vision. I have some more entries coming in the next few days so please don't give up on me. Peace and love my friends!

I'm living in the hope
Of a breath to be shared
It's all I've ever wanted
It's all I ever dared
So breathe
Breathe deep
Breathe
Breathe long and hard
Breathe with me
Breathe with me

-Mission Uk-



The heart of the mystic is found in the silence which resides between what is seen, heard and felt. For that which is tangible cannot inspire in itself, the tangible/physical elements of life are merely a window or portal to draw us into that which is unseen and spiritual.

For example, one may see the sunset in all it's splendor and beauty, but true inspiration is found in the reflection of what has been seen. The conscious mind becomes illuminated and is elevated in the quiet contemplation of what the physical senses have perceived and the heart and mind is lifted upward naturally toward all that is good, pure and holy. In the silence the divine source of all life reminds us to look outside of time to that which is timeless and to become present in the present now.

This is the place where the mystical heart has learned to reside and commune with the divine source of all living things and it's here in the beautiful comtemplation that the mystic receives guidance, realignment, empowerment to create positive change in the world.

The things seen with the eyes, felt by the hands or heard with the ear are merely reminders of a greater reality that empowers all physical life. The mystic has learned to tap into this reality at will, draw breath from it, receive messages and visions of hope, as well as insight and guidance for the journey and gain a complete picture of reality in it's highest form.

This place of contemplative silence is the source of inspiration for the mystical soul who draws his/her strength and inspiration from the silence, reflects on all that is beautiful and pure and is empowered and lifted up to a place of peace and rest though living in a chaotic world resless world.

Head bent, eyes closed, hands on lap, breathing slows. Time fades as spirit ascends towards the top of the seven story mountain, lost in contemplation and mystical rythm. Within the beautiful silence there is a light, the heart swells with inspiration. Gentle waters refresh the mind as voices carefully whisper from the ethereal realm of solitude, "Mission Now". Into the quiet, enter the peace, divine love showers down on mortal flesh. Gently, softly, correction, direction, vision, elation!