It's been an all around hard day, night, week, I'm seeking some perspective now, perspective to pain, sickness, loss. I know in my heart of hearts that within these trials, these sufferings lay greater tools for advancement, the problem is finding them and not quitting or compromising what I know is right. I have two parts of me that are always battling for control: there's the spiritual contemplative side of me that is a peaceful warrior, thoughtful, prayerful and hopeful. There is also a side of me that is very impatient, at times bossy, overpowering and extremely industrious and this one hurts people, this one gets me in trouble.

In a recent spiritual reading it was stated that I have incredible bright beautiful energy from my heart to the top of my head, bright, strong, full of hope and inspiration, yet a bit diminished at my mouth. Below my heart and down is this dark, dim energy, somewhat hopeless and staggering for life. This energy is weak and frail.

I was told there are three chakra points here that are suffering tremendously and in danger of becoming completely dark. I have seven regular points and an eighth rising over my head which I interpret as a special gift of intuition and communication with the divine, this I was told is beautiful and very bright.

Back to the darker regions though. Sometimes I'm afraid to speak and say what I feel, sometimes I get nervous and this energy around my mouth finds itself diminished by fear of failure, compromise and non-expression. My head is creative center bursting with life and ideas, so much so that at times it almost makes me crazy, I'm desperate for an outlet. My mouth is weak though, I get a nervous gut, I am good at hiding this and can seem very confident to alot of people, but I have a very weak stomach at times and it's here I lose the resolve and willpower to nurture the creative ideas in my head, this causes great conflict within me, a battle, but I see it so clearly now, it makes so much sense/

My goal for 2008 is to balance out these chakra pionts and become full of strong light, no more playing games, no more allowing powerful ideas to fall into the waste bin of life, no more hiding, no more running, no more fearing, no more holding back gifts of healing for other people.

I'm gaining perspective even as I write, I'm gaining strength, knowledge, wisdom, insight, passion and I refuse to quit, to lie down and right now I command all sadness, depression, anxiousness, fear, dark energy to be banished from my life, from my families life, from this blog and I ask peace, blessing, prosperity, wisdom and revelation to fill me until I overflow with hope, love, commitment, art..life.